Running only prolonged the pain.

It's true.. the only way out is through. There is no easy way to protect your peace without knowing what it is that you are protecting. At some point you must face whatever it is that is causing you stress or anxiety. Listen to the discomfit and ask yourself in that moment... why are you feeling what it is that you are feeling?

Qutie's Connect: Learning your environment is learning a huge piece of yourself. Seeing yourself from a perspective of where you are and how that may cause you to act a certain way. It's hard to function "properly" when you don't have any stability or structure. When you change your environment you are able to see how you would function different if the circumstances were different. In most cases you will react to what is happening around you. I found myself in the same place experiencing the same emotions because I myself had not changed. I had to realize that the problem was me.

I know you're probably asking... Why would I admit to being the main character in my own demise...

because it's true. Everything that had happened to me I allowed. No matter how insecure I was or who hurt me.. I still allowed these situations to play out ignoring every red flag. I wanted out so bad that I never even stopped to see where I was and how I could get better. I just started running and before I knew it, I was going nowhere fast and many times repeating the same steps.

I always knew I wanted different I just didn't know how to get there. I thought that someone would reach out a hand and show me something different. A superman to come save me from such a miserable lonely world. The more I reflected the more I was able to see that I could be the one to save myself. It didn't matter how fast I ran somewhere different the same problems would follow me until I directly dealt with those problems. Every time I tried to run and hide it just landed me in unhealthy toxic situations... which didn't help what I was already escaping.

The first thing I had to do was not compare myself to others. I mention this first because there will always be somebody doing better than you. If you don't first start by being thankful for what you do have, you will never value the wins as you go. Be patient in your journey and know that everyday is a chance to make a change. These experiences build both character and strength. Your wisdom will run deep and when you are sick and tired you will be forced to change. You will see no other option.

I always say that in all my years I always second guessed nasty behavior because I never imagined it could be that real. Like it was real, but people realllyyyy do thisssss .. is what I would say to myself. And then there became a time when I couldn't deny it anymore. It repeated itself so many times I figured I had better stop expecting a change and become the change. I also realized that I have a right to say no. I have a right to what I allow around me. And I have a right to who I allow in that space. After all it took a lot to make these changes and I wasn't about to let anymore ruin that over night.

This message is for anyone experiencing change... life is not meant to be easy. See the lesson and be positive for every situation. Now you get to see things from another perspective and motivate yourself to never look back...

Trust the Process

Love Always,

Qutie Butterfly